By: Eden H

You’ve got to heal your heart before you give your heart.

If you’re going to have a rebound after a failed relationship, then have a rebound. Don’t take it a notch further and try to pursue a relationship when you haven’t had a chance to heal yourself first. 

You don’t have to be blatantly mean to hurt someone. 

Lying to yourself is hurtful enough.

I tell people all the time, which is something I can attest to, you’ve got to reintroduce your new self to you again because you’re not familiar with who you are now.

Does that make sense?

As humans, we evolve everyday.

I’m not the same person I was last year, nor will I be the same person next year.

Things change and we experience new life lessons that either build us up or break us down.

If you’re still hurt and reeling from your last relationship……DEAL so you can HEAL.

If you don’t, you’ll end up hurting someone who could’ve truly been something special to you. 

By: Eden H

Turning 25 means you’ve officially hit your mid-20s and you WILL do some major soul searching. 

It’s the midpoint of your life where you look back to see if you’re right on track, or wallow in a depression because you realize that you ain’t shit. The years keep on piling on even faster and all you can do is sit back for the ride. Here are some things that go on:

Weddings

There are so many damn weddings that will be going on after you turn 25 that you won’t even want to go outside. If you’re single, you’ll hate them. If you’re attached, it’s an exciting reunion for couples to get together and compare relationships and shit. For me right now, I have a complicated love life going on so I’m loathing weddings. It’s just another damn event I have to go to and shell out more money on a gift when I COULD be using that money for gas, eating dry ass chicken, and having people figure out if I’m a lesbian or not since “I’m not getting any younger.”

By: Eden

For the past 2 weeks I’ve been doing exactly what the HELL I wanted to do. And it’s been working out for me. 

No more do I feel obligated to go to an event just because my friend is throwing the party. If I get a text message or phone call….I’d reply back when I felt like it. If I didn’t feel like going to Destination A then I wouldn’t go. I’d go to Destination B even if meant going by myself. 

I felt like I support people all the time so why not take a break and support the most important person in my life for a change: Myself. 

Yes, being a selfless person is a beautiful quality to have but it’s also a daunting task. You’re constantly trying to make other people happy. It’s a struggle to please everyone else when you’re not feeling the love within yourself.

Do what you want to do. Take control of your life and reclaim your energy. The better spirits YOU are in, the better energy you can pass onto others.

It’s about that time.

I’m revamping everything in my life. 

My attitude. My jobs. My relationships with friends. My love life. My blog. 

So I’m making some changes. I’ve already started. The blog is a work in process but I like where it’s going. Hopefully, I’ll be done by the end of this week….we’ll see though. 

THIS YEAR…I will be doing some dope contest giveaways…getting better with the videos….and being more accessible. Although, I don’t know how I could get anymore accessible.

Shoot me a line or tweet me like ya’ll normally do. I’ll be around……I’m changing and growing….so happy that you all could be there and do it with me too!

Love,

Eden Hansom 

By: Eden Hansom

Every year or so, I get in this funk where I need change. And the quickest way for me to get it is by manipulating my hair. 

Recently, my best friend/sister stressed about cutting her hair. She hasn’t done it but she got me thinking that I may want to.

It’s not that I don’t want to grow my hair out….it’s just that I need a certain style that would compliment ME.

What do y’all think?

                                                This style

                                       With THESE colors

You like it?

Or should I just nix it and continue to let my hair grow???

By: Eden Hansom

This is a serious thing common among us women. Do we want what we want because we see other’s with it? Or do we genuinely want it for ourselves. I have to stop and ask myself this question ALL THE TIME. People all around me are getting married. Having families. Establishing new and improved identities. Where I absolutely DO want all of those things I find myself sometimes having to fall back because I’m more urged to get them now when I see a friend taking those steps. 

What’s wrong with me?

Nothing. It’s just life. 

Two months ago I was in this bridal shop with my friend trying to help her find her bridesmaid’s dress for her mother’s wedding. What I THOUGHT was going to be a peaceful evening of helping out turned into me battling my inner demons on an “idea”. As I walked inside, I was bombarded with obscene amounts of young brides trying on gowns trying to get that “one”. Immediately I was thinking to myself….”She’s not wearing that dress like I would,” or “That should be me up there, I’d work that dress.”

AGAIN, what the hell was wrong with me?

To shake me out of my hating ass funk, I threw myself into the bridesmaid side to look for dresses for my friend. Once she had picked all the ones she thought she would like, here I was left alone with Vera Wang, Maggie Sottero, Simone Carvelli, and many other designers while she went to the fitting room. What was I to do? Sit there and wait for my friend to come out in her dress?

I think not.

I did what ANY sane woman in her mid-twenties would do.

I went straight to Vera Wang and plucked the first dress that caught my eye to try on. 

I called my girl J to see if I was wrong. I was. She told me, but I didn’t care. I wanted to know HOW IT FELT! And as the consultant helped me into the fitting room there was NOTHING I could think about but trying on that dress. 

It was gorgeous.

I was gorgeous. 

But as I came out and stared at myself in the mirror……

I FELT LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT. 

Why the hell was my black ass standing in this damn wedding dress?

What was the purpose?

All these other women were here sharing a moment because they were going to share a special day with the love of their life….and I just wanted to try on a damn dress to feed my appetite. 

I was in love with an image. Not to say it won’t happen for me but I don’t even know if I want the wedding dress or the big deal. I lose myself in the purpose of focusing on just the dress. It’s about the sanctity of a union between two people who care deeply for one another. Because I see everyone else with it, or hear my mother talk about how my wedding day is going to be one day, I’ve fell for an image. An image that I really don’t even need. I had to take the dress off. Though I DID look fabulous in it, I had to take the damn dress off. 

I have to curb myself sometimes and draw the line between an image and my real feelings toward a situation. 

Do you ever feel like that?