Bravo Network: Andy Cohen Is FULL OF SHIT
Andy Cohen gets on my EVERLASTING nerves and it’s been a long time coming.
Just like the rest of working women who spend their weeks at work putting it down only to wait for the weekend to hit to watch a good two hour block of reality television on Sunday; I clapped, hooped and hollered at the television screen when Porsha DRAGGED THAT ASS in front of America.
But let’s get REAL for a second.
Fuck Shit You Missed This Week
Zac Efron Stars In Bum Fights
Yesterday it was announced that Zac Efron and his bodyguard got “lost” in L.A.’s sketchy Skid Row, where they ran out of gas and were attacked. Not only were they fighting for their lives, but The High School Musical star “saved his bodyguard’s life”.
How the hell do you save someone ELSE’S life that you pay to save yours?????
When You Use Your Nonexistent Period As An Excuse
I’m taking an idea from my upcoming book and giving you a little sneak preview into what I’ve learned of the years.
One of those lessons I’ve learned is lying about being on your period is bullshit. When I would lie about being on my period, I felt like I was being rushed to do something I didn’t want to do…….and that was my way of getting out of it and still having a little piece of his attention all in the same breath.
It’s a sad way of thinking and yet, so many of us have been there.
Some of us are just too scared to say something about it.
But here’s the real truth……….if you don’t want to, YOU DON’T HAVE TO. And saying you don’t is not a negative nor is it EVER your fault. Even as a grown woman, you can get hot heavy and still not be in a right emotional state to give yourself to that man (or woman) in the moment. YOU BOTH should be comfortable. And lying about being on your period should be the number one red flag that SOMETHING about your partner is not right between you two.
I don’t know what it is about us and the word “no” but it’s not bad. You want to say you’re on your period to lessen the blow for him……..but why? You’ve got what HE WANTS, so shouldn’t he be making you feel comfortable? As a woman, I’ve noticed the way we put others before us, but it’s okay to put yourself FIRST. It’s okay to be sexually attracted to a man and want him IN THE WORST WAY, but not act right then because you’re not ready. It’s okay to be making out on the couch like teenagers and when he reaches for your belt, you abruptly stop because you’re not ready.
It’s his responsibility TO LISTEN and TO RESPECT your decision to wait. You don’t have to use a period as an easy way out of your feelings. If you don’t want to have sex with this man right now, then you don’t have to.
And that’s okay.
Don’t use an excuse, be YOU. And if he doesn’t like your answer…..he can go fuck himself…..literally.
You “Friend Zoned” Yourself Homeboy
Let’s just dive into this shit, shall we?
Each month, I put together a “Once A Month” dinner so my friends and I can reconnect and catch up.
You know, once you get older everyone can’t hang the way you used to. So these dinners are the shit.
More people ended up making it to the last one, and one of my guy friends in particular came through to join in the festivities. Everything was a great time…………or from what I could remember. When I have champagne, I’m liable to be in my happy place. So I ended up making a speech………that I don’t remember, and let’s just say when I woke up the next morning, I got some pretty interesting feedback.
My homeboy in particular made it a personal note to tell me about my colorful speech and how I “friend zoned” him.
My Hair & Me….
As usual, due to my INSANE hiatus on the blog….I decided to change my hair….yet again.
We’re going to call this little number a “Pumpkin Spiced Latte High Top Fade” that came about as a mistake. I wanted a platinum blonde number BUT because my hair was blue….that was a no go. I’m LUCKY this color happened and my hair didn’t fall out.
Anywho, I’ve struggled with my hair throughout the years. Even as a natural, it still hasn’t come easy to me. I’ve been a naturalista now for almost 5 years and the journey has been both liberating and exhausting all at the SAME DAMN TIME. I longed for tresses like Tracy Ellis Ross and Leela James and became enamored with short and cute cuts from Amber Rose and Chrisette Michele.
What I took away from my hair journey throughout these years is that hair IS AN ACCESSORY not a NECESSITY and no matter what I do with it, trial and error, my personality will always be the front runner in WHO I AM. My hair never defined who I was as a person, I did.
So here’s a 5 year span of what my hair has gone through:
(Creamy Crack to the Big Chop!)
Does My Blackness Offend You?
And why’ll you’re at it, kiss my natural black ass while it offends you so.
During the Trayvon Martin case, I thought I had to a pretty nice clean sweep of all the people (namely my pigment-impaired “friends”) on my Facebook that took the injustice as a joke.
Clearly, I missed a few which became evident last week when I posted my dismay of the Zimmerman vs. DMX fight.
One guy, who I DID consider a long time friend felt it necessary to point out how this fight wasn’t that big of deal, how it was fake, how it’s done on purpose because it was announced during black history month, yadda yadda yadda.
Then, on his page, feels it necessary to post this case about the black woman, Mona Yvette Wilson, who killed 12 year old Jonathan Foster with a blow torch in Texas back in 2010.
His reasoning for posting?
Because the media wants to pick and choose what to show when race is involved.
Oh wait, there’s more.
"I’ll Just Stick The Tip In"….. Don’t Fall For Those Lies
Ladies who’ve lived.
You ALREADY know.
Young ladies who don’t know what it is yet…..pay attention.
This is one line from a man that is one of THE BIGGEST lies on the planet.
Don’t believe the shit.
"I’ll Just Stick The Tip In," is a bold faced lie, so unless you plan on actually getting FUCKED, and your "stop playin boy" gestures are just a game you like to play………WALK AWAY NOW.
Do not believe that lie.
Cause only one thing can come away from a “stick the tip in” type of move…….it feels too good to stop.
So ladies…..please don’t believe the hype.
There is NO TRUTH to this statement whatsoever.
NO TRUTH TO IT.
The minute that one-eyed monster makes a beeline for your pearly gates of that good GUSHY GUSHY……it’s a wrap.
I’ve never known a woman (HELL….or man) live to tell the tale that they just “stuck the tip in” and lived to talk about it.
It’s about as real as seeing one of these………..